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Bend Oregon Newspaper
Good Things Come To Those Who Are Late
By Charles O. Stevens III
As we sat in Barr’s Cafe in Prineville, waking up our brains with
heated caffeine, Kerry waxed eloquently of his German Shorthair Pointers
hunting prowess. They found each other at the pound a few years earlier,
it was love at first sight. You would sooner hear a mother admit her
baby is homely, than to hear him say Max was anything but perfect.
After many miles of bolt-loosening washboard roads we pulled over.
Beginning to ready our cheap shotguns we noticed Eric pouring black
powder down the double barrels of a gun that looked like it should only
be in the hands of a pilgrim. " I've got to see this" I thought to
myself as we pointed down the creek and said to the dogs "Hunt em' up!"
Kerry's dog Max takes this as the cue to run in the opposite direction
in search of skunks and porcupines. It didn't take long until we were in
grouse, cleanly missed one as it whizzed by passing in range of the
Pilgrim’s gun. I then saw a flash of light with a loud thunder and was
in a cloud of smoke, immediately thinking God finally got Kerry for all
of the lying. Then I noticed Eric with a smoking barrel holding a fine
grouse. All that could be said was "What a lucky shot!" He would later
whisper it's hard to miss with three ounces of shot down each barrel,
which is more than three times my twenty gage.
Back at the truck we ate a quick lunch while standing. Eric had two
birds and Kerry had nothing but the Eye of the Tiger, a focus that he
was not going home empty handed. Being a nonconformist and ascribing to
the notion that only dead fish swim with the stream. 1 said, "You guys
go ahead, I am going to take a nap down by the creek." Kerry snapped
into lecture mode as I shook off the hair-covered dog blanket. He spoke
of it being all about hard work, that I would be empty handed, but it
was too late. I was on controlled listening mode, a useful tool mastered
by the average married man. Meaning you hear what you want to hear and
block out the rest.
As I lay there mentally solving all of the world’s problems, I dozed
off, waking up a long time later, cheerfully grabbing my gun to go for a
stroll after my companions. Accomplishing only a third step I heard the
nimble of grouse wings approaching, jerking the old pump gun to my
shoulder I cancelled it's flight. After a long gratifying look at this
plump bird I placed it in my game bag and continued my stroll. It didn't
take long until I noticed two figures approaching, Eric was still in
good spirits being in better shape than Kerry and I put together, and
tooting a limit of grouse. But Kerry was another story, he wore his gun
across his shoulders as if he was bearing a cross, his legs were wet to
the knees from an unsuccessful skip across the rocks on the creek. His
boots made a squish sound every step he made, his fancy shooting shirt
was half untucked and his vest laid low and unzipped on his shoulders.
"So how did it go?” I said with enthusiasm. Eric showed me his limit but
Kerry produced nothing but the words "I don't want to talk about it." Of
course, I took the opportunity to snatch the bird from my game bag.
While holding the bird out I took a few steps back, a trick I learned
with Kerry as boys, to be ready to make a run for it. I gave him a
lecture of my own, You know Kerry it's true the early bird gets the worm
but I am afraid you're the early worm that got eaten by the bird."
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